By now most of you know I received THE phone call from my breast surgeon a week post surgery with the final tissue pathology. And my tissue showed no signs of cancer. Effing A, for real. I wasn't sure what to expect with that call, honestly hadn't even thought about it that much with the anxiety building up to surgery. Just knew that a week or so post surgery she'd call me with the results. I had a follow up with the breast surgeon this past Tuesday, it sounds like 25% of people get that result. Post chemo cancer stage 0. ZERO. Complete pathological response to chemo. So glad I got all 16 of those darn treatments in with minimal side effects. Yeah that red stuff sucked and cured me from eating or drinking anything red for a while, but seriously how lucky am I? Woot woot is right. I still have done almost no research because I don't want to freak myself out, but sounds like that bodes pretty well for my long term survival. Pshaw, long term survival? Who says that? Well, maybe I did. There were like three days in this process, so far anyway, that I questioned that (when I was waiting to find out if the cancer had spread), but other than that I knew I was going to live. In a race metaphor, was just a matter of really how much is it going to hurt? And inconvenience me.
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| NEGATIVE!!! |
Back to the call, my dad happened to be here that day helping out with really anything I asked him to do. Mostly desperately needed yard work! It was pretty cool that he was here with me when I got that call. I held it together as in didn't cry when I called Ryan to tell him (definitely close), my mom, not so much. I could tell she was tearing up on the phone and I looked over at my dad in the truck and he was too and then I was. Damn those happy tears. Or maybe relieved tears, maybe both. Went down the line and called my sibs, Ryan's mom and a few friends and sent a lot of texts. My sister much have been teaching because her phone went right to voice mail, but she texted back and said YOU BEAT THE DAMN THING! Until then, I didn't really realize the magnitude of that phone call. I did beat it! I think it's still sinking in. Sometimes I tell Ryan I forget that I have, well now had cancer. I would just get busy with day to day life, and be like oh yeah, tomorrow is Wed, time for my pre-chemo run and chemo. Which friend do I get to spend the day with today? Sometimes I would cry and then of course I would remember yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones, I get to live, this blows, but I can deal.
Monday this week was my second follow up with Dr. O'Connor. She asked how I was doing and I just mentioned to her that I was just pissed I was still sort of sore two weeks after surgery. She just looked at me like really? And gently reminded me that's to be expected and will last a few more weeks. This I know, but it still annoys me! Two weeks after surgery and I got two of the drains removed. I tell you, even having two of them removed makes this whole showering process WAY easier. Well everything easier. I'm really hopeful I get the last two out before Meg's field trip to Mt. Olympus on June 1 as it would be way easier not to have to deal with them that day. I guess this next week will tell. The whole drain removal process...yeah couldn't feel a thing. They don't stitch up the sites, just put a band aid over them and they close on their own in a few days. Kind of cool, the human body's ability to heal. I think we were too busy talking for me to feel anything. I heard it just felt kind of strange. I went in there with three questions on my mind. Could I cut the grass yet on the rider (got a no on that one), could I throw out the first pitch at a softball game (her answer was yes, but gently), and could I walk up a big hill even though I'm suppose to keep my heart rate down (yes, but if feel like I'm breathing heavy need to take a break). I am headed to the DeGroot cottage this weekend and thought it might be nice to go for a walk but there's a big hill out. So, I'm going for a walk! She also put some more saline in the expanders. That was a strange process but didn't hurt at all. She used the little magnet finder thing, took a big syringe with a strawlike thing attached to the needle, stuck it in the diaphram through my skin and pushed it in. She said she just puts enough in until the skin feels firm on the outside. Ironically it didn't hurt going in or immediately after, but dang, things have been a little sore since then. I'm up to 250ccs on each side, although that doesn't mean too much to me right now. She does think that when I get to 600 or so that I'll be ready to get the implants, so I guess it means I'm almost half way there. At this point, I'm trying to figure out if it's just general soreness post surgery or from the fill. I'm sort of hoping it's post surgery soreness, but not thinking that's it. I've heard a few times that this filling process can get to be a little painful. But whatever, that's what tylenol and ibuprofen are for and if I feel I could use some muscle relaxers I will be sure to ask! I was thinking that maybe when I can start working out again, the pain from that will take my mind off the pain from my expanding skin. Hmmmm. Or maybe I'll slosh. Ewww.
Speaking of cc's, there's been no shortage of conversation among my community about how big are you gonna go?! I don't mind the talk, it kind of cracks me up actually. One of the guys used a metaphor that you rarely ever regret buying something bigger when it comes to snowmobiles, boat engines, etc. Haha, I thought that was pretty funny and he's right. Ultimately I know it's whatever I'm most comfortable with, getting to grow into them will be a nice perk, even if it will be a little painful at times. And then I can break out the shirt that says the real ones tried to kill me!
Up next is another follow up appointment with Dr. O in another week and a half for a fill, as I mentioned above, hopefully can get in before that day to get these last two drains removed. I'll continue to see the plastic surgeon every other week or so for "fills" and then once my skin heals for a minimum of four months and I've had my fill, I'll have another surgery to get the expanders out and the permanent implants (well 25 year implants) put in and I am planning to live happily and healthily well beyond that 25 years. Can you say perky at 90?! Kind of makes me laugh.
I also have a follow up with the oncologist in about two weeks, a month post surgery. At that time they'll start me on a drug that will prevent my body from producing estrogen. Tumors can be estrogen receptive and I believe they get classified as 0, 1, 2 or 3. The higher the number the more susceptible the cancer is to estrogen feeding it. I was classified a 1 which was 10% or less, so from what I hear, that's a little easier to treat than a 3. I guess that makes sense. There are a few different drugs to choose from, one of them saps bone density so sounds like he's going to start me on the other one for the first few years and then switch me to the other after that. Hopefully chemo killed my ovaries forever but if they start producing hormones again I will have to make the decision whether or not to get them removed. And I can tell you they are a coming out. I sure don't need them anymore! And honestly, the chemo induced menopause hot flashes haven't been unbearable. Plus, with the port surgery, appendix surgery and mastectomy surgery under my belt, I'm not so scared about surgery anymore. Well, maybe just a little. Maybe I can just get this menopause crap over with now and skip it in ten years. Sheesh, still can't quite believe I turn 40 this year.
I'm still working out the details of my follow on care, which will be mostly shared among the breast surgeon and the oncologist. Thankfully the care I've gotten has been very coordinated between all the different parties and I'm confident that will continue to be the case. Every six months with Dr. Bermas, I'll be seeing Dr. O for a while and I think every three months for oncology, but will find that out soon enough. I think that oncology has to make sure the daily pill they are giving me is doing its job so I'll have labs to check that. They'll check my chest wall for lumps and do an over all physical exam. Good luck checking that chest wall because once these four to six weeks are over I will be working my way up to one armed push ups. You hear that Aaron and Jake? I'm coming for you! I'll let you and Ryan have the clapping push ups though:). Oh Karl too, that m'effer is strong too. Ultimately, I think the plan is to alternate between the breast surgeon and oncology so that every 6 months I'm getting a full on check up or check in.
Now there's this whole other issue of survivorship that I probably need to get accustomed with, but one thing at a time. I'm going to enjoy this one for a while...at least until that three month check up appointment anyway:).
Wanted to relay a few stories from this past weekend at Megan's team's softball tournaments. I had two separate conversations that just lit me up, so cute. Seriously these kids and families around here are amazing. One of the girls on Meg's team, she's a year younger than Megan, well her dad, Nicky and I were walking out to the parking lot to get stuff (thanks Nicky for schlepping my crap all weekend!) and he says to me in an excited voice, I heard the good news! And I was like oh what good news is that? He said his daughter came home from school one night last week and said did you hear the good news yet? Megan's mom is cancer free! Pretty cute that she knew and was that excited she told her parents when she got home. That weekend was a weird weather weekend and I had layers upon layers at some points, but it got pretty warm Saturday afternoon so I had just my tank top on. Well, my drains were all pinned into the inside of the tank, visible bumps and one of the girls asked me what they were. So I was like you want to see, they might kind of gross you out? She was sure, I'll look. And there was a bit of a crew around me. I was like ok, here they are. Well that led to a few more questions about what they were for, why I had them, etc. I explained as best I could what the drains for, about my surgery, how they take out the tissue below the skin, you know me, I don't hold much back. Showed them the little bruises by my arm pits, well they were visible with a tank. They all did know I had breast cancer, but it was kind of interesting to hear the questions. She asked some of the cutest, pointed questions. Two stick out to me. One was is your hair going to grow back and the other was were you scared? And both accounts I said yes. I talked with her a little about chemo, what that was, how it helps, why I needed it, how it kills fast growing cells, aka hair, etc. I did definitely admit that I was pretty scared, but that I knew I had a great team to help me get through it. Now that I think of it, kind of a good analogy for a softball game! I showed her how my eyelashes and eyebrows were growing back in, I was like if you look close you can see the little hairs. She took a close up look and said yeah, I can see them! I did go let her mom know she was asking questions and that I didn't hold much back, just in case she had more on the way home. Those girls won that Saturday game to get the opportunity to play into the championship game on Sunday and took first at the tournament. I love that they took first, but ultimately it doesn't really matter what place they took, the memories they will take away from that weekend will be the team camaraderie and the fun stuff in between games! Note video below and the awesome bar and grill that opened up early for us to kill some times in between games on Sunday. Girls stayed loose, parents had fun! Thanks Augie's in Luxemburg! It was a great way to spend my first weekend in a while as a cancer free chick and the girls coming home with some hardware was an awesome bonus!
Signed,
- cancer free chick
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| Required goofy face pic! |
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| Thanks Alyssa for this photo, great idea! |
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