Well I was thinking there are 5 stages of grief, I guess there are 7, what do I know about it anyway? No, this is not about death, thank goodness, but processing some losses and trying to embrace change. Quite possibly I'm being over dramatic, probably, most definitely. Over the last few weeks I've had some major changes to my work environment and seriously think I am still trying to wrap my head around what's next. I keep thinking maybe I'm cycling through the stages of grief but since I didn't even really know what they were until I googled them, maybe not. I guess I'll settle on feelings, yuck. Mad, sad, glad, hurt, ashamed, afraid? Mom, Jen, remember that? OMG, I could hear it in my head as I typed it!
First shoe to fall. My manager decided it was time for him to move on to another organization. Now, this dude was, wait, is awesome, best manager I've had yet - AND I've had some great ones. I think the best thing was that I trusted him and felt like he always had my back. I feel like in this day and age that can be hard to come by. For me, that will absolutely be the hardest thing to regain with someone new. Plus he is smart, hands off and just plain "gets it." Or maybe gets me, probably some of all of that. The company he went to work for is lucky to have him and his strategic vision. I guess I'd settle this one on sad (that he left) and glad (that he found a good place to go where he can put his mad skillz to good use).
And then the other shoe fell, there SHOULD only be 2 shoes, right? So, let me preface this one a little. There were 2 people that do the same job, one covering the Eastern US and one (me) covering the Western US. Now there's 1 (yeah, me). Plus another technical person, also with mad skillz. He's awesome and still around (thank goodness) and like me, waiting to see what happens next. I could devote a whole post to his smart, schweddy self! Anyway, the job that I do is one where its really helpful to have someone to bounce ideas off of. Its the time where I think of 9 out of 10 solutions for some issue and my coworker thinks of the 10th one that I couldn't think of but ends up being the right answer. Like I knew it but didn't think of it at the time I needed it. Kinda follow? Plus she is an all around cool person AND from the U.P. How can anyone from the U.P. not be at least a little awesome? Yeah, she's more than a little awesome even though we don't still work together and talk 10 times a day. Could I type awesome anymore?
She also decided it was time for a change and made the move just a week and a half or so ago. She's doing something similar with another organization while getting to stretch herself with some new challenges. The hardest part for me is that over the last few years we've become great friends and I'm really sad not to have her so close at hand anymore. Here too, I'm glad that she had the opportunity to make a move and do something she will enjoy. Mostly I'm super thankful that I've had the chance to work side by side with her for as long as I have. Ms. Bell, your encouragement and support has and will continue to help me be my best self. THANK YOU for what you do and who you are. I am excited to see how our friendship continues to evolve from here.
Embracing change is quite the challenge for me. Well, more specifically, changes where I have no control over anything but my attitude at the outcome. Who knew? Yeah, mom, I know you did! Dad too. Chad too. Well maybe more people than I think. We are going into our busiest time of the year and I sit here wondering how in the world its all going to get done. Well, I guess I'm not wasting too much time wondering, but you know what I mean, right? Like, right now after Chad and Megan have climbed in bed, I feel definite pressure to be working even though I really just want to go watch Vampire Diaries. Yes, I do have priorities and I will be watching Vampire Diaries tonight while paging through the new People magazine with train wreck Kim K on the cover. Digression!
I like what I do, I mean really like it for the most part. Its never dull, and its continually changing (with control) which makes it challenging. I like the people that I work with. Yeah, there are still lots left, just no one that specifically does what I do. I'm glad TO have a job with great flexibility and supportive people surrounding me. Add that to actually liking my job and its a pretty cool thing. Part of me is really excited that my network is spreading out. I'm also scared at the possibilities of who might be my new manager and coworker. How will they measure up? Will I even like them? Do they have a preference for curse words? I sure as shit hope so. How much would my job suck if I didn't like my manager? Or even worse, the person I have to work beside day in and day out. Well, virtually, not physically, but still. Funny, I just realized that "will they like me" is not the first thing that comes to mind. Funny - and cool. Because hell, if they don't than its their problem. Have I mentioned that my kid is beyond cocky and self confident and I don't wonder where she gets that from. Yet again, digression!
My interim manager use to be my second line manager, well I suppose he will again as soon as he finds someone acceptable to hire. He's cool, smart and hands off which I appreciate. Although, I WAS busting his chops for a little lack of communication as this has all fallen down around us. I do realize he has his hands full too and I believe he really is trying. I've known him for a while and sort of wish I could just keep reporting to him. He might think I'm a little out there, but I sure can say what I think and he won't be THAT taken aback. He tells me he has a PLAN, but he's not sharing any details. No matter how many times I asked, even after waiting until a bunch of beer has flowed, he still wouldn't give it up. I've actually taken a break on asking and thinking much about it. Mostly because I'm too damn busy and starting to settle on the fact that I can't do anything about it anyway. I said my piece to him in that I really want someone who is fun to work with and ok with swearing. I guess I'm glad he has a plan, I'll find out what it entails soon enough.
Phew, feels good to put it all out there. The bar has been set high by my peeps that have moved on, but this eternal optimist is hoping for a positive outcome to all this change!
pja
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
So many things to say...
and so little time I make to write. I am not a natural writer, it takes me a while to formulate my thoughts, as you might be able to tell. I've thought a lot lately about oh this would be good to write about and so would that, but just don't sit down to log the notes. See that "make time to write?" Well, I really, really like the dvr and by the time everyone else is in bed I just want to sit on my ass in front of the tube. Or whatever these flat screened things are called now.
I looked over my last post and started thinking again about what IS next. Couple of things to note of late. I'm registered to participate in the Fall50 relay from Gil's Rock to Sturgeon Bay this weekend with 3 other friends that are runners. I'm hoping for a great adventure, although not really sure what to expect. I think I'll end up running somewhere between 14 and 16 miles, in 3 and a half legs. Figure we'll all log the last mile together so we cross the finish line as a team. After that baby is crossed I'm gonna go find me a beer. And then maybe another. Turns out we have to take my car so I'll have to be somewhat responsible. Which is ok I guess (see, I'm talking myself into this), less beer equals less calories and well you know how that goes.
Last week I finally made a biking investment. I've been thinking about a road bike for the last six months or so, but hadn't pulled the trigger. I looked at a 2010 Gary Fisher road bike in July, but just wasn't ready for it. After I finished Fox Cities, well before too I guess, I had told myself I really want to try a triathlon next summer. And what better time than when I'm in running shape since I always feel like that'd be the hardest thing for me to gut out. I'm not talking Ironman or anything, but a sprint for sure and if I like that maybe an Olympic distance. THEN if I'm still enjoying myself and maybe the summer after next, a half Ironman. We shall see what the future holds. Somehow I talked myself into a road bike thinking yeah, if I'm serious about this tri stuff then I should get a road bike and see how I feel about logging some miles. Mind you, I have a Trek FX, a competent fitness/pseudo hybrid bike, but I really longed for (and was scared of) the clip in shoes, pedals and a fast ride.
Lucky for me, my little brother's best friend works at a bike shop and was able to give me a few options of what he could find left of the 2011 models, all awesome choices. I'm now the proud owner of a Trek Madone. Wasn't sure I'd even notice the upgrade to the other options so figured I'd go with the most cost effective option. Really couldn't go wrong with any of them. From the peeps I've talked to that do these multisport events, all recommended the 105 components. Turns out they are awesome, best shifting bike I have ever owned. Should be I guess! I've now logged about 50 miles in the last 3 days and realize I have so much to learn about biking. Here she is. Yeah, its a she, but she's still waiting for a name. One of the awesome running coaches I've been working with and who has also agreed to help me through the training for my first tri said I must come up with a name, but I'm still thinking that one through. I'm hoping this is a long term investment so need a name that will stand the test of time. Ha.
I was freaking out, but excited to take it out for the first time. My mom and dad are both bikers and triathlon veterans so I was pumped that I was at their place and they both wanted to go out with me on my inaugural ride. I'd never been in clips before so was like how in the heck do I do this. They live in a super hilly area so I knew it'd make for a challenging ride. They have a big square that is about 12 miles and not really square, but that's not the point, and the last hill is long and killer. Like it was all I could do to keep my bike moving when I attempted this ride on the FX a few years ago. My dad totally kicked my ass on that hill, well, all the hills we conquered on that ride that day. No kicking my ass this particular day though. Most likely due to the fact that, well, he's my dad so has a few years on me, he hasn't been riding much of late and had a few beers with a late lunch this day. Add that to the fact that I have been running A LOT so have substantial cardio endurance. Or so I like to think anyway.
We turn off Breezy Hill onto Wall Street (first successful clip out in the books here) and head out into the rolling hills. I was hanging with mom and dad for a bit then decided to see how quick I could book up the hill in front of us. Felt awesome. Then I started thinking oh shit, if we are doing the big square (again, not a square) maybe I should save some of this energy for the big hills coming up. Sort of what I think when I'm running, detrimental when I go out too fast. Turns out I shouldn't have worried. I survived fine, except for one hill when I shifted in the wrong direction, but recovered and made it to the top. Oh yeah, and the other big hill that I thought ok, I'll try to stand up and climb this baby and floated toward the middle of the road. Thinking the major issue is I have no effing clue where to put my hands when I stand and climb. I've always been more of a seater climber, I now know why. Before we hit that Wall Street hill I asked dad what he does and he showed me. After a few more attempts its starting to not feel so awkward. Have I mentioned how cool it is to have such active parents? I hope Megan thinks that about me some day too. And that Wall Street hill? I conquered it. Wasn't really that bad, although I was already in granny gear about half way up. Just kept marching, legs weren't even burning that bad. Here's dad and I...thanks mom for grabbing the camera to log the moments. Besides the fact that I have no waist in these pics I'm glad to have them! Wait, me first with the awesome view in the background. Pretty cool place to grow up. Turns out I'm not sure how to post two pics here so this will have to do. Yes, newbie blogger. Shit, I just backspaced the pic right off of here and can't figure out how to get it back.
I did my first brick workout on Sunday. It was super windy, but I didn't care, just wanted to get out there and give it a try and show myself I could do it. At least it was sunny. I rode 14, rolled into the garage, swapped shoes, desnotted, grabbed the dog and leash and set out for 3 miles. Got the brick feeling in the legs and not sure if it ever really even went away. Turns out I had a negative split and last two miles were sub 9:30 pace. Sheesh, I'm happy for that pace on ANY day, let alone after a bike ride like that. Now I know I'm capable of that, time to log some hours in the pool this winter while keeping up with some biking and running.
Today I took my lunch hour and decided to hit the road. My job is absolutely crazy lately, but I'll save that for another post. Its going to take a little dialing in to figure out how to dress for biking in cooler weather. I'm sure I looked like a first class dork today on the road, but I didn't much care. Had an ear band around my head under my helmet and wore running tights with padded shorts underneath. It will take a little trial and error but that's ok. Biking attire is spendy, so I want to make sure I know how I want my stuff to function before I decide what to buy. Does that make any sense?
On today's ride, reality set in that if I'm really going to try a tri, I'm going to have to figure out how to be comfortable biking in a crowd. Any advice for this chick on that front? I guess before this Fleet Feet training crew I was scared to run in a crowd too. But that was more the risk of not being able to keep up. The bike thing is more like how do I avoid wiping out and hurting myself. Yeah, or someone else too. Suppose its like anything else, gotta JUST DO IT.
Peace!
pja
I looked over my last post and started thinking again about what IS next. Couple of things to note of late. I'm registered to participate in the Fall50 relay from Gil's Rock to Sturgeon Bay this weekend with 3 other friends that are runners. I'm hoping for a great adventure, although not really sure what to expect. I think I'll end up running somewhere between 14 and 16 miles, in 3 and a half legs. Figure we'll all log the last mile together so we cross the finish line as a team. After that baby is crossed I'm gonna go find me a beer. And then maybe another. Turns out we have to take my car so I'll have to be somewhat responsible. Which is ok I guess (see, I'm talking myself into this), less beer equals less calories and well you know how that goes.
Last week I finally made a biking investment. I've been thinking about a road bike for the last six months or so, but hadn't pulled the trigger. I looked at a 2010 Gary Fisher road bike in July, but just wasn't ready for it. After I finished Fox Cities, well before too I guess, I had told myself I really want to try a triathlon next summer. And what better time than when I'm in running shape since I always feel like that'd be the hardest thing for me to gut out. I'm not talking Ironman or anything, but a sprint for sure and if I like that maybe an Olympic distance. THEN if I'm still enjoying myself and maybe the summer after next, a half Ironman. We shall see what the future holds. Somehow I talked myself into a road bike thinking yeah, if I'm serious about this tri stuff then I should get a road bike and see how I feel about logging some miles. Mind you, I have a Trek FX, a competent fitness/pseudo hybrid bike, but I really longed for (and was scared of) the clip in shoes, pedals and a fast ride.
Lucky for me, my little brother's best friend works at a bike shop and was able to give me a few options of what he could find left of the 2011 models, all awesome choices. I'm now the proud owner of a Trek Madone. Wasn't sure I'd even notice the upgrade to the other options so figured I'd go with the most cost effective option. Really couldn't go wrong with any of them. From the peeps I've talked to that do these multisport events, all recommended the 105 components. Turns out they are awesome, best shifting bike I have ever owned. Should be I guess! I've now logged about 50 miles in the last 3 days and realize I have so much to learn about biking. Here she is. Yeah, its a she, but she's still waiting for a name. One of the awesome running coaches I've been working with and who has also agreed to help me through the training for my first tri said I must come up with a name, but I'm still thinking that one through. I'm hoping this is a long term investment so need a name that will stand the test of time. Ha.
I was freaking out, but excited to take it out for the first time. My mom and dad are both bikers and triathlon veterans so I was pumped that I was at their place and they both wanted to go out with me on my inaugural ride. I'd never been in clips before so was like how in the heck do I do this. They live in a super hilly area so I knew it'd make for a challenging ride. They have a big square that is about 12 miles and not really square, but that's not the point, and the last hill is long and killer. Like it was all I could do to keep my bike moving when I attempted this ride on the FX a few years ago. My dad totally kicked my ass on that hill, well, all the hills we conquered on that ride that day. No kicking my ass this particular day though. Most likely due to the fact that, well, he's my dad so has a few years on me, he hasn't been riding much of late and had a few beers with a late lunch this day. Add that to the fact that I have been running A LOT so have substantial cardio endurance. Or so I like to think anyway.
We turn off Breezy Hill onto Wall Street (first successful clip out in the books here) and head out into the rolling hills. I was hanging with mom and dad for a bit then decided to see how quick I could book up the hill in front of us. Felt awesome. Then I started thinking oh shit, if we are doing the big square (again, not a square) maybe I should save some of this energy for the big hills coming up. Sort of what I think when I'm running, detrimental when I go out too fast. Turns out I shouldn't have worried. I survived fine, except for one hill when I shifted in the wrong direction, but recovered and made it to the top. Oh yeah, and the other big hill that I thought ok, I'll try to stand up and climb this baby and floated toward the middle of the road. Thinking the major issue is I have no effing clue where to put my hands when I stand and climb. I've always been more of a seater climber, I now know why. Before we hit that Wall Street hill I asked dad what he does and he showed me. After a few more attempts its starting to not feel so awkward. Have I mentioned how cool it is to have such active parents? I hope Megan thinks that about me some day too. And that Wall Street hill? I conquered it. Wasn't really that bad, although I was already in granny gear about half way up. Just kept marching, legs weren't even burning that bad. Here's dad and I...thanks mom for grabbing the camera to log the moments. Besides the fact that I have no waist in these pics I'm glad to have them! Wait, me first with the awesome view in the background. Pretty cool place to grow up. Turns out I'm not sure how to post two pics here so this will have to do. Yes, newbie blogger. Shit, I just backspaced the pic right off of here and can't figure out how to get it back.
I did my first brick workout on Sunday. It was super windy, but I didn't care, just wanted to get out there and give it a try and show myself I could do it. At least it was sunny. I rode 14, rolled into the garage, swapped shoes, desnotted, grabbed the dog and leash and set out for 3 miles. Got the brick feeling in the legs and not sure if it ever really even went away. Turns out I had a negative split and last two miles were sub 9:30 pace. Sheesh, I'm happy for that pace on ANY day, let alone after a bike ride like that. Now I know I'm capable of that, time to log some hours in the pool this winter while keeping up with some biking and running.
Today I took my lunch hour and decided to hit the road. My job is absolutely crazy lately, but I'll save that for another post. Its going to take a little dialing in to figure out how to dress for biking in cooler weather. I'm sure I looked like a first class dork today on the road, but I didn't much care. Had an ear band around my head under my helmet and wore running tights with padded shorts underneath. It will take a little trial and error but that's ok. Biking attire is spendy, so I want to make sure I know how I want my stuff to function before I decide what to buy. Does that make any sense?
On today's ride, reality set in that if I'm really going to try a tri, I'm going to have to figure out how to be comfortable biking in a crowd. Any advice for this chick on that front? I guess before this Fleet Feet training crew I was scared to run in a crowd too. But that was more the risk of not being able to keep up. The bike thing is more like how do I avoid wiping out and hurting myself. Yeah, or someone else too. Suppose its like anything else, gotta JUST DO IT.
Peace!
pja
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Fox Cities Recap, what's next???
So its been a week and I've had more than ample time to think about my race. Wait, I mean my PR - that's right, 2:16:37 - 9 minutes better than my previous PR! Mostly an exercise in reflection and so I have this in one place, I wanted to document my first 4 half marathon finisher times. They are as follows from most recent on down, yes a little regression at the Mini Indy - easily the least favorite half I have done.
2011 Fox Cities - 2:16:37
2011 Mini Indy - 2:34:08
2011 Oshkosh Half - 2:25:38
2010 Fox Cities - 2:37:55
To me, this shows that I put in the work and saw some results. It also proves to me that really, anyone else can do the same. I AM a runner! Over the past year I've been able to cut off 20+ minutes from my finishing time.
Back to FC2011 experience...I actually had a race plan. Yep, I sure did. I still had my goal set at 2:20, no matter what Megan might have thought. A solid second experience in backing into a goal, I probably should have set my goal at 2:15. I did mention this to Megan, who promptly set my next goal for me. More on that later.
Since I had a few great 7 mile training runs I used those as a basis for my goal. The plan was to run the first mile and check my time, no footpod, just against my watch and the course and then check it every few miles from there. I wanted to hit 7 miles by 1:12 - 1:13 and mile 10 by 1:45. If I did that then I'd have 35 minutes to run the last 3.1. No problem - and if it hit it before then, cool. What I did not want to do was be staring at my watch the whole time. I had decided I wanted Chad and Meg to drop me off at the starting line because I'd have to get up WAY too early if I took the shuttle. Chad said he was excited to go watch and proud of me for sticking out the training through the summer. That was pretty cool, because it was an investment on all our parts.
I make it to the start (thanks Chad and Meg for getting up so early) and meet up with my running buds before hand. Say hi, good luck, chat with Myriah and Josh a little and hit the line for the porta john. Nervous bladder, might as well wait for the race to start while waiting in line to pee. Sweet. Jen waits with me, which is awesome, so I have someone to talk and listen to with my nervous energy. I shared my race plan with her and we head to the starting line with like 2 minutes to spare. Great timing. We get lined up and off we go. No ipod or anything for me this year, I've grown to love the sound of everyone's feet at the start and then focusing in on my breathing as I go.
Seriously, like quarter mile in I see Amy about 10 steps in front of me. AWESOME was all I could think. I haven't run much with Amy over the last few months and thought dang, I'll take an opportunity to run with her for even a mile. She's one cool cat and the mom of 4 so always has good and challenging experiences to share. I love that about her! Plus, I can totally check out people's running outfits and comment to her on what I think and she doesn't think I'm too strange or mean or whatever. Love it. Actually, I only had good things to say this time around. There was some chick running in front of us in pinkish red spandex capri leggings and I thought she was rocking them. Seriously. If I wore something like that it'd probably look like, well, I never would so probably no need to go there:). Back to running with Amy - we rocked it out together until almost mile 10. At the onset though we both agreed that we'd run our own race and feel no obligation to stick together if one of us was feeling the need to pull ahead. Um, I was pretty sure it'd be me as I knew Amy had run a few half marathons sub 2:20 and I think the Mini Indy in less than 2:15.
Our conversation stemmed from the night before the race, training, family (her little bro just had a baby), husbands, whatev, was pretty awesome just to flow from one thing to the next. She also runs with a Garmin (I finally got one, but save that for another post) and would hold me back a little here and there. A few times she's telling me we are running at a 9:40 and 9:45 pace. I'm like WHAAAAT? And we are still talking and I'm not dying? I think it was around mile 7 that our conversation trailed off a little though we were still together. At one point she told me to keep breathing. Hmmm, how did she know that's what I needed to hear? I was starting to freak out that I went out too fast but still pretty sure I'd back into my goal. Oh yeah, somewhere around mile 5, I took a gatorade instead of water and promptly spilled it all over my left hand. I spent the next few waterstops trying to unsticky my hand. Yeah, I made that word up. I HATE sticky.
Around mile 7 or 8 I see Chad and Meg on the tandem. That was pretty fun even though Megan refused to wave or say much. HA, no offense here, that kid cracks me up. They rode along side us for a little and said they'd see me in the park. Just before Jefferson Park I started to feel a blister on the outside of the ball of my foot, it seriously stung and I was like dude, WTH, this can't be happening. Funny thing is the sting went away after about a quarter mile, not sure what was up with that, but I was definitely glad. Somewhere between mile 9 and 10 I cannot catch a deep breath and it starts to get inside my head a little. I dropped back from Amy and tried to ease up a little and catch my breath. Amy asked if I needed some encouragement or if I really felt I needed to drop back. I loved that she offered, but I felt like I needed to back off a little. All I can think is that I'm going to hyperventilate if I don't settle down and that was freaking me out. After about a mile I do settle down and feel like I can push it some more. Well, that lasted for about a mile...then I started sucking wind again. Although by now I knew I'd hit and beat my goal, ugh, such a mental game. I literally walked 10 steps just over the end Theda Clark bridge into mile 12. As I started onto the bridge I saw Chad and Meg and I was struggling. They rode along side me for a little bit then I told them I'd see them at the finish. SO damn close.
Then I see Sherry, fellow runner and work friend. Sherry has been dealing with an injury for the last month and was unable to do the race this time around. Last year's Fox Cities Half was the first for both of us. She told me she had tears in her eyes she was so excited for me as she was tracking me on her mobile and knew I'd beat my goal. Love that about here. She asks if it'd be cool for her to run to the finish with me and of course I said yes. She was SO full of energy I was a little jealous. It totally helped to have her push me along that last mile. I wasn't going to let myself walk and it really was not an option if she was running me in.
There's always 2 mats at the finish line and I'm never quite sure which is the one where I can stop running. Think by now I'd have figured that out. I hit stop on my watch and know I'm sub 2:17, just not sure how close. Sherry walks me over to some dudes under a tent on computers and they look up my official time. Woohoo, I effing did it. I find Amy and Deanna, say hi and see how they finished (both awesome), then I notice Jen is by the Fleet Feet tent. She freaking kicked her PR majorly and finished in 2:19 and change. She was hoping to finish by 2:25 and for sure better than 2:30. I've logged the majority of my long run miles with her and can't tell you how cool I think it is that she rocked it.
We sit and chat for a few then I head out. I really would have liked to see the other Fleet Feet training team come in, but we had people coming over for the Packer game and we had no food prepared and a house in disarray. Shocker, I know. Megan informed me of my next goal on the walk back to the truck. 2:12. You know, I think that's doable.
In retrospect I'm totally thrilled with the result. Getting to run with Amy for the first hour and 45 was awesome and one of the best parts of the race. After a little more dissection, I'm disappointed by my drop off in pace the last 3 miles and need to figure out how to make that not happen again. More over race distance training runs? Fighting off the mental demons? Probably no simple answer, but that's what this journey is about.
As I was writing this I remembered one thing that did not happen during this race. I never once thought why in the heck do I sign up for these damn things. Not once! And that's pretty cool!
Up next?
A few friends and I are doing the Fall50 in Door County. Four person relay + 50 miles = what I'm sure will be fun, fun times. I'm sure a 5K or 10K will also happen at some point this fall. After that? Time to log some pool time and get ready to tackle my first triathlon next year. Yes, I am putting that in writing. I'm still aiming to run 15 - 20 miles per week mixed in with some cross and strength training and will probably sign up for another half in the spring. I'm hooked.
pja
2011 Fox Cities - 2:16:37
2011 Mini Indy - 2:34:08
2011 Oshkosh Half - 2:25:38
2010 Fox Cities - 2:37:55
To me, this shows that I put in the work and saw some results. It also proves to me that really, anyone else can do the same. I AM a runner! Over the past year I've been able to cut off 20+ minutes from my finishing time.
Back to FC2011 experience...I actually had a race plan. Yep, I sure did. I still had my goal set at 2:20, no matter what Megan might have thought. A solid second experience in backing into a goal, I probably should have set my goal at 2:15. I did mention this to Megan, who promptly set my next goal for me. More on that later.
Since I had a few great 7 mile training runs I used those as a basis for my goal. The plan was to run the first mile and check my time, no footpod, just against my watch and the course and then check it every few miles from there. I wanted to hit 7 miles by 1:12 - 1:13 and mile 10 by 1:45. If I did that then I'd have 35 minutes to run the last 3.1. No problem - and if it hit it before then, cool. What I did not want to do was be staring at my watch the whole time. I had decided I wanted Chad and Meg to drop me off at the starting line because I'd have to get up WAY too early if I took the shuttle. Chad said he was excited to go watch and proud of me for sticking out the training through the summer. That was pretty cool, because it was an investment on all our parts.
I make it to the start (thanks Chad and Meg for getting up so early) and meet up with my running buds before hand. Say hi, good luck, chat with Myriah and Josh a little and hit the line for the porta john. Nervous bladder, might as well wait for the race to start while waiting in line to pee. Sweet. Jen waits with me, which is awesome, so I have someone to talk and listen to with my nervous energy. I shared my race plan with her and we head to the starting line with like 2 minutes to spare. Great timing. We get lined up and off we go. No ipod or anything for me this year, I've grown to love the sound of everyone's feet at the start and then focusing in on my breathing as I go.
Seriously, like quarter mile in I see Amy about 10 steps in front of me. AWESOME was all I could think. I haven't run much with Amy over the last few months and thought dang, I'll take an opportunity to run with her for even a mile. She's one cool cat and the mom of 4 so always has good and challenging experiences to share. I love that about her! Plus, I can totally check out people's running outfits and comment to her on what I think and she doesn't think I'm too strange or mean or whatever. Love it. Actually, I only had good things to say this time around. There was some chick running in front of us in pinkish red spandex capri leggings and I thought she was rocking them. Seriously. If I wore something like that it'd probably look like, well, I never would so probably no need to go there:). Back to running with Amy - we rocked it out together until almost mile 10. At the onset though we both agreed that we'd run our own race and feel no obligation to stick together if one of us was feeling the need to pull ahead. Um, I was pretty sure it'd be me as I knew Amy had run a few half marathons sub 2:20 and I think the Mini Indy in less than 2:15.
Our conversation stemmed from the night before the race, training, family (her little bro just had a baby), husbands, whatev, was pretty awesome just to flow from one thing to the next. She also runs with a Garmin (I finally got one, but save that for another post) and would hold me back a little here and there. A few times she's telling me we are running at a 9:40 and 9:45 pace. I'm like WHAAAAT? And we are still talking and I'm not dying? I think it was around mile 7 that our conversation trailed off a little though we were still together. At one point she told me to keep breathing. Hmmm, how did she know that's what I needed to hear? I was starting to freak out that I went out too fast but still pretty sure I'd back into my goal. Oh yeah, somewhere around mile 5, I took a gatorade instead of water and promptly spilled it all over my left hand. I spent the next few waterstops trying to unsticky my hand. Yeah, I made that word up. I HATE sticky.
Around mile 7 or 8 I see Chad and Meg on the tandem. That was pretty fun even though Megan refused to wave or say much. HA, no offense here, that kid cracks me up. They rode along side us for a little and said they'd see me in the park. Just before Jefferson Park I started to feel a blister on the outside of the ball of my foot, it seriously stung and I was like dude, WTH, this can't be happening. Funny thing is the sting went away after about a quarter mile, not sure what was up with that, but I was definitely glad. Somewhere between mile 9 and 10 I cannot catch a deep breath and it starts to get inside my head a little. I dropped back from Amy and tried to ease up a little and catch my breath. Amy asked if I needed some encouragement or if I really felt I needed to drop back. I loved that she offered, but I felt like I needed to back off a little. All I can think is that I'm going to hyperventilate if I don't settle down and that was freaking me out. After about a mile I do settle down and feel like I can push it some more. Well, that lasted for about a mile...then I started sucking wind again. Although by now I knew I'd hit and beat my goal, ugh, such a mental game. I literally walked 10 steps just over the end Theda Clark bridge into mile 12. As I started onto the bridge I saw Chad and Meg and I was struggling. They rode along side me for a little bit then I told them I'd see them at the finish. SO damn close.
Then I see Sherry, fellow runner and work friend. Sherry has been dealing with an injury for the last month and was unable to do the race this time around. Last year's Fox Cities Half was the first for both of us. She told me she had tears in her eyes she was so excited for me as she was tracking me on her mobile and knew I'd beat my goal. Love that about here. She asks if it'd be cool for her to run to the finish with me and of course I said yes. She was SO full of energy I was a little jealous. It totally helped to have her push me along that last mile. I wasn't going to let myself walk and it really was not an option if she was running me in.
There's always 2 mats at the finish line and I'm never quite sure which is the one where I can stop running. Think by now I'd have figured that out. I hit stop on my watch and know I'm sub 2:17, just not sure how close. Sherry walks me over to some dudes under a tent on computers and they look up my official time. Woohoo, I effing did it. I find Amy and Deanna, say hi and see how they finished (both awesome), then I notice Jen is by the Fleet Feet tent. She freaking kicked her PR majorly and finished in 2:19 and change. She was hoping to finish by 2:25 and for sure better than 2:30. I've logged the majority of my long run miles with her and can't tell you how cool I think it is that she rocked it.
We sit and chat for a few then I head out. I really would have liked to see the other Fleet Feet training team come in, but we had people coming over for the Packer game and we had no food prepared and a house in disarray. Shocker, I know. Megan informed me of my next goal on the walk back to the truck. 2:12. You know, I think that's doable.
In retrospect I'm totally thrilled with the result. Getting to run with Amy for the first hour and 45 was awesome and one of the best parts of the race. After a little more dissection, I'm disappointed by my drop off in pace the last 3 miles and need to figure out how to make that not happen again. More over race distance training runs? Fighting off the mental demons? Probably no simple answer, but that's what this journey is about.
As I was writing this I remembered one thing that did not happen during this race. I never once thought why in the heck do I sign up for these damn things. Not once! And that's pretty cool!
Up next?
A few friends and I are doing the Fall50 in Door County. Four person relay + 50 miles = what I'm sure will be fun, fun times. I'm sure a 5K or 10K will also happen at some point this fall. After that? Time to log some pool time and get ready to tackle my first triathlon next year. Yes, I am putting that in writing. I'm still aiming to run 15 - 20 miles per week mixed in with some cross and strength training and will probably sign up for another half in the spring. I'm hooked.
pja
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Sunday Funday, Taper and Running Friends
My Sunday funday was running 13+ miles. Yesterday morning's run was canceled due to the lightning and pouring rain. Good by me, as I imagine the humidity alone yesterday would have made for a miserable run - I almost forgot what it felt like to run in moderate temps. It was barely 50 when I left home this morning, so strange. After 2 miles I ditched the long sleeve UGLY Mini Indy shirt and rocked the rest in a tank and shorts. Seemed weird but a welcome change to get a little chilled along the way. I finished today and felt like I still had some to give so that was a great way to end another long training run. Today's main topic of discussion was race strategy. Last year's strategy was just to survive my first half and have an open mind about doing it again someday - guess I've come a long way since then.
Talking over race strategy with Jeff and Jen was pretty helpful. The last few weeks I've had the best runs when I don't dedicate so much energy to my pace. I've tried to have a few landmarks along the route so I have a general idea of where I am against my goal. Right now I'm leaning toward trying to do something along those lines, I think it will be challenging but doable. Jeff knows how much I get in my head if I think I've gone out too fast so his advice was to really focus in on where I want to be time wise at mile 3, 6, 9 and 12. Definitely great advice for this chicklet. It is going to be really strange to be out there running my own race rather than alongside my training buddies. I also need to decide if I'm going to carry water along with me, in the past I've felt like the water stops are a crutch I use to slow down. If only all of life's decisions were this trivial, eh?
Is it really time to taper?
I suppose last week was the start of the taper since that was the last 15 miler, but I feel like its really here this week with only a 9 miler on the schedule for next Saturday. I mean, that's in addition to the 3, 6, and 3 I'll run during the week. Guess its still a 22 mile week so nothing to shake a stick at. Just in case you might be into shaking sticks... Tapering tends to make me a bit antsy, but since I know I put in the work I am going to do my best to trust that and enjoy it. Its kind of like I look forward to the taper and dread it at the same time!
And this is what running friends are for...
So last Friday I get a Facebook message asking if I'm going to be there on Saturday for the long run. It goes to three of us and of course we all respond with a resounding YES we can't wait, uh huh right. Totally paraphrased, but the conversation goes a little something like this...
Instigator: Are you guys going to be there this Saturday?
First responder: Yeah, bright and early.
Me: Yeah me too, but probably not as bright as First responder above me.
Third responder: I'll be there, but haven't run all week and am crabby.
Instigator: I'm crabby too since I haven't been able to run much (injury), be sure to be there so we'll run ourselves into a good mood.
First responder: I'm crabby too, still stuck at work.
Me: I was crabby last night and quit 1/4 mile into my run. Amazing what a being home alone, a beer or 2, pita chips and havarti can do to a foul mood. Looking forward to seeing all your crabby asses in the AM.
Then we go on to wonder in writing if this is how most running friends talk. Since I've not been privy to anything quite like this group before its hard for me to say. All I can really say is that these are some cool chicks - I love the banter and totally dig the support.
Priceless!
Talking over race strategy with Jeff and Jen was pretty helpful. The last few weeks I've had the best runs when I don't dedicate so much energy to my pace. I've tried to have a few landmarks along the route so I have a general idea of where I am against my goal. Right now I'm leaning toward trying to do something along those lines, I think it will be challenging but doable. Jeff knows how much I get in my head if I think I've gone out too fast so his advice was to really focus in on where I want to be time wise at mile 3, 6, 9 and 12. Definitely great advice for this chicklet. It is going to be really strange to be out there running my own race rather than alongside my training buddies. I also need to decide if I'm going to carry water along with me, in the past I've felt like the water stops are a crutch I use to slow down. If only all of life's decisions were this trivial, eh?
Is it really time to taper?
I suppose last week was the start of the taper since that was the last 15 miler, but I feel like its really here this week with only a 9 miler on the schedule for next Saturday. I mean, that's in addition to the 3, 6, and 3 I'll run during the week. Guess its still a 22 mile week so nothing to shake a stick at. Just in case you might be into shaking sticks... Tapering tends to make me a bit antsy, but since I know I put in the work I am going to do my best to trust that and enjoy it. Its kind of like I look forward to the taper and dread it at the same time!
And this is what running friends are for...
So last Friday I get a Facebook message asking if I'm going to be there on Saturday for the long run. It goes to three of us and of course we all respond with a resounding YES we can't wait, uh huh right. Totally paraphrased, but the conversation goes a little something like this...
Instigator: Are you guys going to be there this Saturday?
First responder: Yeah, bright and early.
Me: Yeah me too, but probably not as bright as First responder above me.
Third responder: I'll be there, but haven't run all week and am crabby.
Instigator: I'm crabby too since I haven't been able to run much (injury), be sure to be there so we'll run ourselves into a good mood.
First responder: I'm crabby too, still stuck at work.
Me: I was crabby last night and quit 1/4 mile into my run. Amazing what a being home alone, a beer or 2, pita chips and havarti can do to a foul mood. Looking forward to seeing all your crabby asses in the AM.
Then we go on to wonder in writing if this is how most running friends talk. Since I've not been privy to anything quite like this group before its hard for me to say. All I can really say is that these are some cool chicks - I love the banter and totally dig the support.
Priceless!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
100 Mile Month & Inspiration
First one ever, 101 miles with a few days to spare! That's with a low mileage vacation week thrown in the middle. I came close with a 92 mile month back in March. I remember when my friend Jen had a 100 mile month during the training for our spring half and thinking holy crap, that's insane and awesome for her. Occasionally I read an article in Runner's World that refers to people that run 50+ miles per week. How in the heck do they do that? I suppose they could run 6 minute miles and knock out the miles way faster than I, but still. Do they work full time? Do they have a kid or two? Or a really, really understanding spouse? Maybe they love the treadmill, have endless daylight or can operate on minimal sleep, who knows. Kudos to them because the last two weeks at 30 and 29 miles only occurred due to an understanding family (thanks C&M), flexible schedule and encouragement from my running friends. No more 15 mile Saturday runs on my schedule...I think I'll call that the start of my taper for FCM. Bring.It.On.
The inspiration I refer to above? Two things.
Yesterday's run was hard. After two breakthrough runs in one week, I'm not really surprised. The schedule called for 16, I did 15 and felt no shame for not doing the last loop around the park. I ran with a couple of the coaches and two other brave souls doing the long route. Jen decided it'd be a 12 or 13 mile day for her so she caught up with Amy, I was a little envious and impressed at the same time. Envious because I'd be chugging out the last few and she'd be done. Impressed that she knows her body enough to know when to say when. For me, the last 3 or 4 miles were a total gut check, thank goodness Jeff (one of the volunteer coaches and ToughMudder teammate) was along for the run. I wanted to take the back way into Plamann Park SO bad, but knew that would go over like a lead balloon. I felt like I could only talk in bursts so I reserved my energy to position skipping the last loop around the park and settle on 15. Solid and successful plan. Inspiration thing 1: Jeff is training for IRONMAN Madison taking place in three weeks. I am pumped to go cheer him on and think its pretty cool that I get to train along side him and pimp him for training advice. Quite certain Jeff's participation and the whole IRONMAN cheering/spectating experience will be a source of inspiration for some time to come.
Inspiration thing 2: my little brother. Just over a week ago he made a really tough decision. Huge props to him for having the courage and taking a risk. Sort of reminds me of The Game of Life. One thing The Game of Life leaves out though...a supportive family. My family? Uber supportive. Its pretty awesome and makes my world a better place.
pja
The inspiration I refer to above? Two things.
Yesterday's run was hard. After two breakthrough runs in one week, I'm not really surprised. The schedule called for 16, I did 15 and felt no shame for not doing the last loop around the park. I ran with a couple of the coaches and two other brave souls doing the long route. Jen decided it'd be a 12 or 13 mile day for her so she caught up with Amy, I was a little envious and impressed at the same time. Envious because I'd be chugging out the last few and she'd be done. Impressed that she knows her body enough to know when to say when. For me, the last 3 or 4 miles were a total gut check, thank goodness Jeff (one of the volunteer coaches and ToughMudder teammate) was along for the run. I wanted to take the back way into Plamann Park SO bad, but knew that would go over like a lead balloon. I felt like I could only talk in bursts so I reserved my energy to position skipping the last loop around the park and settle on 15. Solid and successful plan. Inspiration thing 1: Jeff is training for IRONMAN Madison taking place in three weeks. I am pumped to go cheer him on and think its pretty cool that I get to train along side him and pimp him for training advice. Quite certain Jeff's participation and the whole IRONMAN cheering/spectating experience will be a source of inspiration for some time to come.
Inspiration thing 2: my little brother. Just over a week ago he made a really tough decision. Huge props to him for having the courage and taking a risk. Sort of reminds me of The Game of Life. One thing The Game of Life leaves out though...a supportive family. My family? Uber supportive. Its pretty awesome and makes my world a better place.
pja
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Is it really that easy to set a goal?
This is Megan, she's 7 and she's my kid. She's opinionated, smart, intuitive, and indepedent. I know, a stretch, right? I'm still trying to figure out how one question from her has me questioning my goal for Fox Cities Half Marathon.
I had what I'd call a breakthrough run on Saturday and then another yesterday. About damn time too! Saturday was a 15 mile training run and never, ever have I run longer than 13.1 miles. I'm quite fond of my toenails and have no aspirations of running a full marathon. I was nervous for the 15 miler and really hoping one of the training coaches would run with me since my regular running partner was rocking the Madision Mini. During our warmup I strategically planted my butt right next to a coach and said I need you today. Yes - I can and do ask for help sometimes, I guess that wasn't really a question though. He was suppose to go with the 12 milers, but stuck it out with me. There was one other person going long, everyone else was going 12, so it was Deanna, Sam and I. We were at mile 6 before I knew it (not really, I mean it was challenging) then I specifically remember 7, 10 and 13. We hit 13.1 just over 2:21 - that's all the proof I needed to know that I'm in the ballpark with my previously set goal of 2:20 for Fox Cities. The last two miles sucked, but I finished and pace didn't drop off that much. Totally excited, I could not wait to get home to talk about it. I hit up Megan, tell her about my run and she says well Mom, why don't you go for 2:15 at Fox Cities? REALLY? Could it be that simple? Her question really got me thinking.
I had what I'd call a breakthrough run on Saturday and then another yesterday. About damn time too! Saturday was a 15 mile training run and never, ever have I run longer than 13.1 miles. I'm quite fond of my toenails and have no aspirations of running a full marathon. I was nervous for the 15 miler and really hoping one of the training coaches would run with me since my regular running partner was rocking the Madision Mini. During our warmup I strategically planted my butt right next to a coach and said I need you today. Yes - I can and do ask for help sometimes, I guess that wasn't really a question though. He was suppose to go with the 12 milers, but stuck it out with me. There was one other person going long, everyone else was going 12, so it was Deanna, Sam and I. We were at mile 6 before I knew it (not really, I mean it was challenging) then I specifically remember 7, 10 and 13. We hit 13.1 just over 2:21 - that's all the proof I needed to know that I'm in the ballpark with my previously set goal of 2:20 for Fox Cities. The last two miles sucked, but I finished and pace didn't drop off that much. Totally excited, I could not wait to get home to talk about it. I hit up Megan, tell her about my run and she says well Mom, why don't you go for 2:15 at Fox Cities? REALLY? Could it be that simple? Her question really got me thinking.
If I had a more aggressive goal for the Oshkosh Half would I have finished in a little less time? Oshkosh Half was my second half, first half last fall I just wanted to survive, finished in 2:38 and change. My Oshkosh goal was to finish in 2:30 or less, I came in with a 2:25.38. So wanted to kill Jeff who was pacing me through the half. Literally wanted to grab his jacket and say I CANNOT run anymore, need to walk. I can totally remember my thought process. Went out at around a 10:30 pace for the first 6.5. I remember feeling way freaked out that I went out too fast and couldn't sustain. Guess what? I didn't. I even had the 2:20 pacer in my sight between miles 10 and 11, didn't catch him either. Mind you, the conditions sucked, worse I have ever run in. 35 and rain, sleet and snow - wind too. Fun times I tell you. Jeff got me through that one, I would have been walking off and on after mile 10. Overall I was happy with my effort and my PR, but can't shake the thought that I could have done a little better.
I'm a numbers girl, wear my heart rate monitor and footpod for all my workouts. Love watching my heart rate while I'm running, can guesstimate pace based on what my HR is telling me. Yesterday I had a 7 miler on the schedule. Decided to use mapmyrun.com and map out my 7 ahead of time rather than keep looking at my watch to see how far I've gone. The only landmark I had was the Y, at about mile 5. I ran based on how I felt and had another breakthrough run with an overall pace of 10:19 per mile. For 7 miles, what the heck is going on?
I'm not going to question it too much. Hopefully I'm reaping the rewards of this endurance base I've been building for the last 14 months or so. I've also concluded that its beneficial to get out of my comfort zone every now and then. Duh, right? Seems easier to say than actually do. Anyone else out there reap the benefits of operating outside your comfort zone?
My goal for Fox Cities? Right now, I'm holding steady with 2:20 - it would be a pretty decent PR for me and still feel like its a healthy stretch.
Mostly I'm thankful that I'm healthy enough and can make the choice to put myself out there. 2:15 would effing rock though, thanks Megan for putting that in my outer realm of possibility!
pja
Sunday, August 21, 2011
So I've been thinking...
about blogging for quite some time. For some reason it scares the crap out of me. I've never been much of a writer or journal keeper, more of a spoken word (lots of them, some vulgar) type person. Then I wonder if I really want to put personal thoughts out for free consumption. Suppose it might just be my family, specifically my mom (she better!) that reads it anyway. Plus sometimes it feels like overkill with facebook, dailymile, twitter and the rest of life that goes on. Three main things have provided enough motivation to give it a try.
- I'm training for my fourth half marathon - whoa - I typed third and had to delete. Probably because I did two in a row this spring, so its really only my third training stint. See? Digression! Anyway, somewhere between 1/2 and 2/3 of the way through training I start to feel like quitting. So far I haven't and I won't, but this seems like a great forum for a training journal. No doubt, I will feel my arse dragging again and think it will be pretty cool to have something to reflect back on.
- I am inspired by reading my friend and running partner, Jennifer Woldt's blog. We are fairly new friends that met via a training program for our spring half marathon. Following her blog allows me to get to know her a little differently than training side by side. And side by side we are, I was intimidated to do the 15 miler without her this past weekend. Meeting her and a few other new friends is, has been, and will continue to be an amazing part of my training journey. And to think I was scared of joining a training group!
- Work...so while not necessarily a work related blog I was accepted into our corporate mentoring pilot earlier this spring. I submitted my application to be a mentee and was paired up with a Sr. VP, he wondered why I wasn't a mentor. Totally love and appreciated that, but wasn't sure what to expect from the program so decided to apply as a mentee. Only 8 people were chosen to participate in the program so I was and am still determined to make the most of it. Early on in the process we had to loosely determine what we both would like to get out of the program. One of my goals was to figure out my voice and start a blog before the end of the pilot. YEAH! Can now cross it off the list and keep working on the other "stuff."
That was actually pretty fun working through my thoughts. Oh yeah! The title of this thing? That's my running mantra. I can't tell you how many hills I've chugged up saying that to myself and sometimes out loud all the while picturing the little blue engine. And the profile picture? Tough Mudder finisher badge! If you are curious about Tough Mudder you can check it out here.
Now I'm off to figure out how to use this blogger application to its full potential. If you can offer any advice on that front, please hit me up in the comments!
pja
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