My hairless, apendixless life...and you know what? Still pretty awesome!

So a lot has happened in a few weeks! I lost an organ, cut my hair short, purchased a few wigs, lost some hair and shaved it all off. Oh and I had my first chemo treatment! One down, 15 more to go. There's probably enough there for another post though so I'll save that for a later date. And that exclamation point at the end of that was perhaps a little generous. Oh and before I forget - because this could be another blog post as well and just might well be - THANK YOU for all the support in the form of kind words, cards, facebook messages, posts, etc, really any and all correspondence that I've received, hospital visits, high school friends showing up for the turkey trot, gifts, offers to take me to chemo apts, help with Megan, Belle, shoveling, plowing and much more. You can ask Ryan - I am absolutely overwhelmed by all of it, in a positive manner of course.

Let's start with the hair - or lack there of. Morgan, I and my closely shaven head set out on a maiden voyage to WalMart a couple of hours ago. Morgan thinks I can rock it and didn't care if I had a hat on or not. I am inclined to agree with her since it is my head and all. I was like what the heck, WalMart is the perfect place to give this look a try. I forgot to grab my green and purple eye liner from home so we figured we'd go grab some while Taylor and Ryan picked out a Redbox movie. One of the first nights that Ryan and I were together with all three girls I had on purple and green eye liner, Taylor's astute memory. They thought it'd be a good look with minimal hair so figured I'd give it a go tomorrow. Mind you, I <3 Sephora and Ulta so I wasn't quite sure what brands to look for. I know, snobby right? But I do love Sephora and I am not ashamed to admit it. ANYWAY.

Exactly to the date when the oncologist said it would happen, two weeks after my first chemo treatment, my hair started falling out. Two weeks ago I decided to go get my hair chopped off, I've had short hair before, but it has been a long time. I've always loved the pixie cut and figured now was the perfect time to take it for a road test. I liked it! Betsy did an awesome job as usual! That and shorter hair left to fall out was a pretty good plan. Megan was slated to go spend time with her dad leaving Tuesday after school so I had asked her if my hair started falling out while she was gone (returning Sunday) if it was ok that I shave off all my hair while she was gone and she was cool with that. Thankfully! Because man, when it started falling out there was NO stopping any of it.

Jeez, Tuesday seems like so many hairs ago. When my hair was long, I shed a lot. This Tuesday business was sort of like that. I think since my hair has been short, I've washed it every day (YES, EVERY day...for those of you that didn't know, I was one to wash my hair every other day or third day, maybe even stretch it longer) so there was less noticeable shedding. Tuesday was a definite increase. Wednesday was like um red alert, shit is falling out fast am I going to have enough hair on Thanksgiving to even have cute hair??? I came up to Ryan's Tuesday afternoon to hang out for the weekend (mhmmm my hairy dog and my can't lift over 10 lbs hair losing self) and chillax. Definitely good planning on my part eh?

Wednesday I'm working away and I reach up to my head since my scalp felt tingly, scratch a little and notice that yeah my hair comes out with no pulling or pain. Hmmm. This is an interesting thing. Every once in a while I pull some out just to make sure this really is all happening and remind myself of those magazine articles I've read about people that have a syndrome or something where they pull out their hair. Trichotillomania, just googled it. I was like oh shit, I better stop this, eventually its going to grow back and I don't need to be pulling at it. Anyway, Taylor gets home from school and is like what's up? I show her my new trick and she's kinda like um... Too polite to call me out on the grossness though. Morgan gets home and is like oooh can I try? So I'm like sure, why not have someone else join in on the fun. I was actually kind of scared to even take a shower on Wednesday and try to do my hair but felt like I might as well try to style it one more time if I can, these days are extremely limited. That Redken paste might have not been my most brilliant idea, I think the hair mostly just stuck to my hands as I tried to style it. Well or the hair dryer or straightening iron before the paste. Oh well, I sure didn't need a day with poufy short hair before its all gone.

Thanksgiving arrives as does this turkey trot that I'm all pissed I can't run in because of that appendix thing. Whatever. Ok quick side bar. My friends Jen and Chad Volz had signed up to do this thing with me/us (Ryan and his girls and niece Haley) which was really cool. So we meet up before the race and another one of my friends from HS is there with them. I'm like what the heck is Joanna doing here?! I had noticed Jen posted something on Facebook about being excited for a sleep over Wednesday night but I didn't think too much about it since I'd ask her on Thursday morning. Anyway, the sleepover with with Joanna and her daughter Olivia who drove up to visit Jen and Chad and do the turkey trot with us. How cool was that?! Seriously, pretty sure I had a frozen tear or two that didn't make it out of my eyes. Damn weepiness and all. Was super fun to walk the trot with them and catch up with Jo. We've been in touch on Facebook, but I don't remember the last time I've seen her.

After the trot, or walk in my case (yep, still a little bitter), I'm like ok time to brave the shower and see if I can style what hair I have left so it doesn't look like I have too many bald spots. Many times mopping the hair out of the sink later, I'm like yep that'll do. I was really looking forward to seeing Ryan's extended family and wasn't too worried about my hair since they all know the story - and are uber supportive at that. I think the issue was more that I just wanted to feel pretty. Phew, enough hair, I felt like myself and was good to go. For the record, I would have been good to go anyway, but always better when I feel good about how I look. I know, vain right? Or maybe just writing it feels weird.

Woke up Friday AM to what I would say was lots of hair on the pillow. As in more than the lint trap would catch. Not only that but the pillow kinda hurt my head. Sort of like if you had your hair in a pony tail all day kind of hurt. Annoying at best. Betsy and I had been in a little communication about shaving my hair off and were loosely targeting Friday. Thank goodness because I had about enough of this nonsense. Girls were off to go sledding and I was having a bit of a crying jag thinking what the hell. Well maybe not crying, but a bit weepy? Heehee. I am shaving my head today. Yep, pretty much never thought I'd be doing that. Oh well. Also was thinking maybe I'd be better off to head to Betsy's solo, but man would I have been wrong. Ryan and the girls were more than happy to accompany me. As was any of my other friends and family - again, love the support - its awesome!

Get to Betsy's and she informs me she got a nice new clippers today and I'm the inaugural clipee. New word right there. We were chatting and I was like ok enough chatting, let's get this show on the road. I thought maybe I'd cry, but having Ryan and the girls there was keeping my mind off tears and they all kept telling me I looked good bald. Betsy too. I had no choice but to believe them right?! Betsy did the bulk of the cutting with Ryan and Morgan each taking a turn. I missed having Megan there for that moment, but dang I sure wouldn't have wanted to wait a few more days. All of them kept telling me I looked pretty. Like some singer from some girl band or something? I definitely felt some trepidation looking in the mirror afterward, but turns out I have a nice shaped head. Who knew? Thank goodness for small miracles eh? And normal sized ears. I did tear up on the way home reading the texts from the my family and friends that I texted after pictures to. For sure.

Truth be told, I'm a little curious as to what Megan will think when she sees me. She holds things tight to the vest sometimes so this will be an interesting one to watch her process. She knows its coming, but I didn't text her a picture yet. Gonna hold off posting via any of her social media things until she has a chance to see me in person. I also have a few Megan approved wigs! Glad I took her with me for the final purchase. Ended up with one I never would have picked.

Speaking of wigs - thanks to the awesome stylists at Cali-Sun Salon in Appleton and Jenna and Keith at Keith's Haircenter, I have two sweet wigs to sport. This is seriously another post in an of itself as well. Every October, I think Betsy is the main driver of this, the stylists at the salon offer pink hair extensions to their clients and donate all the proceeds from those sales to a cancer patient. Well, when I went in to get my hair cut two weeks ago Betsy handed me a card. Rhonda was along for this ride...so I took the card and stuck it in my purse. Betsy was like aren't you going to open it? I was like nah, it will probably make me cry. But she asked so I obliged...I've cried in front of both of them before so what the heck?! I open it and it has all the proceeds from their October pink hair extensions. Seriously, I was speechless for a moment. Yeah - just a moment but speechless nonetheless. Betsy said she couldn't think of a more appropriate cancer patient to donate the proceeds to. What a better way to spend the money than on a few fun wigs to get me through the next few months??? Good times. Oh and Jenna at Keith's Haircenter? It was scary for me and I can't say enough about how gracious she was to Betsy, Rhonda, Megan and myself while we were there trolling the selections. Her knowledge was really helpful in making my decisions. Big recommendation from this girl.

Ryan could tell you that leading up to any of these new experiences I get a bit anxious and stressed. Sometimes I talk about it a lot, sometimes not at all. Sometimes I shed a tear or ten, sometimes not. Nah, that's not true, a few tears usually flow when I'm anxious and stressed. I tend to not realize how much I feel it until I feel that sigh of relief that whatever it is, it's over. Same thing for today. Anxious and stressed leading up to the shave, followed by a great feeling of relief once it's over. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Its a different look for sure so I still have a little trepidation but no regrets. Whatsoever. Plus it wasn't like I could prevent it from happening, eh?

You didn't think I was going to end this one without a few pics, did you?